If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
