last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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