Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize