I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
