i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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