Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
