so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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