I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
