The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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