she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
