Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
