im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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