Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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