No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Shame - the story of my life.
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