Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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