It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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