you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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