i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its not stalking. its research.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
