I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
