what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
