I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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