y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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