he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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