he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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