dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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