guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
