My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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