I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
