there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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