is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
