Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I enjoy the company of your penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
