I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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