I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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