I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
