Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize