I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
nutella sex= disaster
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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