I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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