My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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