Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
