does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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