ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
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You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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