Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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