Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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