She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
