I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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