All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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