Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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