I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
be right there i have to get my cape
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
