"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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