And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
