I'm jealous of your bromance
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
