Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
