I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
