She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
