I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
