Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
