my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
