Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
