all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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