Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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